Its been a couple of days since Zeb's 6 month cardiology appointment and I have finally come to terms with it. YES, all in all we got a great report, and I cannot say how THANKFUL we are. I will admit that even in this thankfulness, I have been sad. Actually 2 days of complete sadness accompanied with nausea, and down right depression. His gradient went up significantly since his last 2 appointments. This is a red flag, a sounded alarm. I am upset. I am scared. There I said it.
In reflection of the last visit, I couldn't help to think that somehow every time we go for the heart check, its like walking into a target range or target practice. You are going in not knowing if today is the day we are going to just be a target or if today is the day we are going to be hit with the bullet. Frankly I don't like being in the line of fire or my son being the bullseye. It is not a good feeling. It SUCKS!!! I can say this I would stand in front of any firing range for him any day to keep him from having to face another $#@*(!#* .