This morning I answered my phone, a call from MUSC. I thought that it was a call from them about pre-op but it was a call from them saying that we needed to be moved to another surgery date. Apparently there had been 2 children that were very critical and needed that slot. I completely understand that, our son Zeb was actually one of those critically ill children at 4 wks old who was lifeflighted to MUSC. However, I can say that I felt like the wind had literally been knocked out of my body, or someone had tripped me up and I was flat on my back. I had finally got about everything planned from the job, the preschool, the girls care, the packing, the reservations etc., and someone on the road to mentally preparing myself. Then this. But what came next was the straw that broke the Camel's back or the Mama's heart if you want to say it more literally. She said that his new Surgery date would be 4 days from the original date, which would be March 2, 2010. I thought I misunderstood her and I asked her again and she said March 2nd. At this point, I wanted to throw the phone, I could not talk to this innocent lady on the phone anylonger. I whispered, " I will have to call you back" just before I broke into sobs March 2nd for those that may not know is Zeb's 3rd Birthday. I frantically called my husband and he was so calm and said to give him the number and he would call her. I just sat down on the couch in disbelief. Finally he called me back and said yes, it was confirmed the surgery date would be March 2nd. I of course argued and cried and then I said ok,and hung up the phone.
Immediately, God reminded me of the 2 critically ill children that needed the Doctor and I started to pray for them and for the Doctors. I know what that is like and no parent should ever have to go through that alone, much less without God.
Then I called my Children's Pastor and talked with her and she said something to me that really made me think. It was simpley this. " God gave you Zeb on March 2, 2007. How fitting, How awesome will it be for him to Work a Miracle in his heart on March 2, 2010. His Birthday, A Day of Celebrating his life." It really hit home to me. I know now that it will be ok.
I am still as a Mommy sad that this is the day. But I know that God has a greater purpose and I am determined to see it through. So now we will be leaving for Charleston on Sunday and his pre-op will be Monday and his surgery will be on Tuesday. We also decided that he never has to know that Tues is his birthday ...Any day is your birthday when you are 3 so we will do a small family celebration this weekend and when he gets home and gets the all clear for contact with others, we will hve to biggest birthday party/life celebration ever!! I appreciate your prayers and your love. I am TRUSTING GOD
completely as we go forward on this journey. I will admit, I am emotionally exhausted, but I am praying and God will renew my strength.