Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Bumped ~~

This morning I answered my phone, a call from MUSC. I thought that it was a call from them about pre-op but it was a call from them saying that we needed to be moved to another surgery date. Apparently there had been 2 children that were very critical and needed that slot. I completely understand that, our son Zeb was actually one of those critically ill children at 4 wks old who was lifeflighted to MUSC.  However, I can say that I felt like the wind had literally been knocked out of my body, or someone had tripped me up and I was flat on my back. I had finally got about everything planned from the job, the preschool, the girls care, the packing, the reservations etc., and someone on the road to mentally preparing myself. Then this.  But what came next was the straw that broke the Camel's back or the Mama's heart if you want to say it more literally.  She said that his new Surgery date would be 4 days from the original date, which would be March 2, 2010.  I thought I misunderstood her and I asked her again and she said March 2nd.  At this point, I wanted to throw the phone, I could not talk to this innocent  lady on the phone anylonger. I whispered, " I will have to call you back" just before I broke into sobs  March 2nd for those that may not know is Zeb's 3rd Birthday.  I frantically called my husband and he was so calm and said to give him the number and he would call her. I just sat down on the couch in disbelief.   Finally he called me back and said yes, it was confirmed the surgery date would be March 2nd. I of course argued and cried and then I said ok,and hung up the phone.
Immediately, God reminded me of the 2 critically ill children that needed the Doctor and I started to pray for them and for the Doctors. I know what that is like and no parent should ever have to go through that alone, much less without God. 
Then I called my Children's Pastor and talked with her and she said something to me that really made me think.  It was simpley this.   " God gave you Zeb on March 2, 2007. How fitting, How awesome will it be for him to Work a Miracle in his heart on March 2, 2010. His Birthday, A Day of Celebrating his life."   It really hit home to me. I know now that it will be ok.
I am still as a Mommy sad that this is the day. But I know that God has a greater purpose and I am determined to see it through.   So now we will be leaving for Charleston on Sunday and his pre-op will be Monday and his surgery will be on Tuesday.  We also decided that he never has to know that Tues is his birthday ...Any day is your birthday when you are 3 so we will do a small family celebration this weekend  and when he gets home and gets the all clear for contact with others, we will hve to biggest birthday party/life celebration ever!!   I appreciate your prayers and your love.  I am TRUSTING GOD
completely as we go forward on this journey.  I will admit, I am emotionally exhausted, but I am praying and God will renew my strength.

Blessings~

Rhonda

5 comments:

  1. Rhonda,
    I know we already talked about Zeb's new surgery date but I wanted to leave you a message here as well. Reading your words breaks my heart. I know how badly we want for our kids to be able to enjoy normal things like Christmas and birthdays and when we find ourselves marking those special days inside the four walls of a hospital room it is hard. I have been there with Logan many times. His first Christmas was inside the hospital, not at home surrounded by loving family and presents under the tree. As hard as that was on our family we reminded ourselves that every day we have with Logan is a day to be celebrated.

    {{{HUG}}}

    Stef, Ryan, Wyatt and Logan
    www.whenlifehandsyouabrokenheart.blogspot.com

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  2. Thank you Stefanie...You are absolutely right! We celebrate him every day for he is Our Miracle!! You are a Blessing to me~

    Rhonda

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  3. It broke my heart to hear Zeb's surgery date had been changed to his birthday. But it made me remember Christmas 2002. I don't think you know this....Jacob was born 8 weeks early with complications because I had an abruption. He was delivered with an emergency c-section. I had to be put under quickly and did not see my baby being born. He was not breathing when he was born. The pediactric doctor said she literally had to beat him to get him to breathe. He was put on a ventilator and rushed to NICU in Greenville. That was December 11th, 2002. I would not celebrate Christmas that year. I did not have my baby. Me and Dennis stayed in NICU Christmas day with Jacob. He was in NICU 28 days. We bought him home January 8, 2003. On January 9th at 2:00 am we decided to put up the Christmas tree, because Christmas was January 9, 2003. He did not know any different, but it felt like Christmas to me and his Daddy.

    So Christmas, birthday can be celebrated any day!! If you need me to do anything for Zeb's Big Celebration, let me know!!! I am there with tons of balloons, party favors, Mickey Mouse cake, maybe we can find a Mickey Mouse mascot, whatever you need!! Give me a call!

    We love you guys and we are praying hard!!

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  4. Hello Rhonda,

    I came to your blog recently from my friend Stef's blog when she mentioned Zeb was having surgery soon. Our son Andrew also just turned 3 and will be having his third surgery probably this summer.

    I couldn't believe your recent post about it being on his birthday, but I certainly understand the things you've been told about it being a beautiful celebration of his life at the same time. Your have a beautiful family. And I love the name Kerrigan! I once had a student with that name (I am a teacher) and it was our girl name if our son had been a girl!) :)

    We will add Zeb to our prayers and will continue to follow your journey.

    Jen, Craig & Andrew
    http://www.thehuegelfamily.blogspot.com

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  5. Oh Rhonda, I am sorry you had to go through all of that. It is an emotional time no matter what, but that sounds so hard. My son's glenn was changed as well, but a month. I had just gotten ready for everything & his surgery was supposed to be a few days away...I had to start all over again.

    Hang in there! Zeb will not have two special days in a row. One for his birthday and one for his Heart's birthday.

    Do you have a button I can put up on my blog for him in my surgery prayer section?

    Also, I have a CHD giveaway on my blog, I don't know if you have time to enter or not, it ends on the 28th.

    I will be praying for Zeb & for you.

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