Thursday, March 4, 2010

Looking Up ...He is my strength

Our day has been good ..Zeb is doing well, he has amazed us today with his lil superman strength. We got to make a sign for his door today, and we put YOU ARE OUR SUPERSTAR. He is it so amazing the strength he has, I know that most adults, including me could not take the things he has had to endure. Dr. Bradley checked up on Z today and said he looks good, still keeping the chest tube due to drainage, but will reacess that tommorow. One day at a time.  His nurse has just given him some pain meds because she has orders to go ahead and removed he dressing around his incision, so say a prayer, it scares me for him to hurt, I wish I could do it for him. He had a scary pain episode today, Sonny had went down stairs for a brief minute and Zeb was asleep, I had just stepped away from him not even 3 feet and he jumps up so fast almost standing up in the bed, screaming, hurt mommy hurt and crying...It was all I could do to keep him from falling out of the bed. The nurse came asap and she said probally just from being up and about and she got him settled and got him pain meds and he was fine, but it was very not fun for me, because I felt helpless. I know that most of you know because alot of my bloggie buddies have heart babies/children too but it is not fun to feel helpless and out of control . Your emotions and your nerves are on edge. You can't take anything at all. Seeing your child have to go through this is about all that you can take. I pray that no one ever has to experience this. Without God, I could not make it. He loves me unconditionally, he knows my heart, he knows my intermost being and he carries me when I cannot stand. He has carried me so many days, I can't live without him. I am just emotionally spent right now so please forgive me for being real. I am so Thankful for all of you and your prayers and loving me and my son unconditionally, spreading the word, posting his prayer button, and some of you have never even met me or my son. God has really BLESSED me and I am so humbled. I ask for a special prayer for me tonight, I am strong, I think it is all just catching up to me, I can't stop crying.   I will however not stop giving GOD THE GLORY, he has done an AMAZING work in my Zbug. I will not let my emotions or anything take  my focus off this Miracle. I am here on this journey for people to see God and who he is and I pray he will be Glorified.  One of my blogger friends sent a prayer request out for Z and she put on her blog for all you people saying why is this mom blogging during surgery to GO AWAY..Thanks Gap Girl...(Hugs) ...Just for those that may have said that in their mind, I blogged during this surgery to update only, but also to Glorify God, and to let everyone see What God is up too in Z's life. I am so thankful and I will shout it to the heavens. Plus because it calms me down and everyone was waiting on the updates and how to pray.   If I can do anything I will do it for him and his Glory!  Zeb   looks so great and he has just took this by leaps and bounds! We got to make a sign for his door today in Child Life and it says...Zeb,  You are our Superstar. Believe in Miracles..I love it.. I posted a pic on my facebook. I will post it on here later, I have  time getting pics on here from the laptop. I I have some sweet pics of Zbug to share, and I have some other pics of Zbug that I am not quite ready to share just yet, it is very hard for a Mommy to see her child on a vent/breathing machine, no parent should have to see that ever,  but I know I will post later for CHD Awareness and also to show where God has brought us from.  I never forget where I have been...Never ! God is Good no matter the circumstances. 
Yah!! Nurse just came in and I had to take a quick break...Bandage is off his incision and it looks great the nurse says, to me it kind of takes my breath because I am his momma and it is the first time I saw his chest with this. I remember the day of surgery, I couldn't take my hand off his chest before they came and got him, it was breaking my heart to think of him having a scar, but God has opened my eyes that this is a scar yes, but it is also his badge of courage, and a reminder of the miracle he has given us. We stand amazed and we know that God has a mighty mighty plan for Zeb's life. We thank those of you who walk with us on this journey ...We love you!!

Many Blessings ~

Rhonda

ps.  Sorry for sporatic ramblings...just nerves... I will update tommorow ....
o

4 comments:

  1. Please don't ever apologize for being real! That is all we have and know when we have heart babies! :O) SO glad to hear that he is doing well but hate that he hurts. I hope you are doing well and we send hugs and kisses to the little man and hugs to you and Sonny!
    Love, Jess, John and Lo

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  2. Rhonda,
    My heart rejoices and breaks for you all at the same time! God will bless you for keeping your focus on Him and for giving Him the glory that He deserves. Don't worry about what anyone else says about what you do on your blog - you and I know that it is therapeutic to write and express yourself. As you said, it is also great to let people know how to pray in the time of greatest need. I was glad to see your updates!
    I am so glad that your Superstar is doing so well! We are praying!
    Hang in there, girl!
    Pam

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  3. Rhonda,

    My son has Aortic Stenosis with a bicuspid valve as well. He is 2 years old now. Unlike Zeb, his condition is mild. I want you to know that you have given me strength, hope and courage. More than any other heart family I feel connected to you because of the identical diagnosis. I asked for prayers on Zeb's behalf on our family blog www.andysmama.blogspot.com I would love to get to know you better, you are a source of strength for me. I'm praying for you!

    Heart Mommy Hugs,
    Amber

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  4. Rhonda,
    No need to ever apologize for being real or expressing your emotions. You are dealing with a highly stressful situation. I know how crazy and out of control I felt during Logan's surgery in January. At times I felt like leaky faucet that couldn't be stopped. It is hard.....I know. {{{HUG}}}

    I can't tell you how very happy it makes me to hear that Zeb is doing amazingly well! I think about you guys every day and say many prayers for Zeb's continued healing!

    Stef, Ryan, Wyatt and Logan
    www.whenlifehandsyouabrokenheart.blogspot.com

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